Difference between revisions of "Twelve Nights of Troll Bashing"

Revision as of 08:48, 3 June 2008

    Rannos Trollender of the Danwedh Mountains,
    Was a great troll basher.
    From Ugoras to Danwedh,
    Many trolls bled,
    Mauled and sliced into fives and tens,

    And by Rannos’s hand, their lives ended,
    Perfectly solving Aspenwood’s diaster.
    So the local earl insisted, 
    That in Aspenwood he ruled,
    Instead of just visited.

    And alas, as it goes,
    When drunk, Rannos just can’t say no.  
    So Koril Brassbeard was replaced, 
    By a troll-slaying ace,
    Carrying the heads of two troll chieftains.  
    --Act 2: Scene 1/"Twelve Nights of Troll Bashing", Quillan--

"Twelve Nights of Troll Bashing" is one of the bloodiest, most stomach-churning tales to ever grace Aspenwood’s theater. In fact, Quillan insisted on using real blood. Never had the patrons of the arts bled so much. Chock-full of fatal fighting footwork and full-scale troll trouncing, this play definitely hits below the kisser. This masterpiece is painted with reenactments of factual casualties, sprinkled with drastic amputations, and littered with the preserved corpses of fallen warriors. Following the noxious twists and turns of Trollender’s frantic fight to save Aspenwood and his caravan from trolls, certainly inspired pride and fear from the theater-going public.

Popular Quotes:

“It just isn’t enough to stab a troll. I’ve seen trolls take hits that would crumble a mountain. Once I bash a troll, he stays down. Sure the head may crumble in a bit and the brain leakage might cause a mess, but hey—It’s all about peace of mind.”

"You truly believe you can eradicate the trolls? Bah, there are always survivors of a massacre. If nowhere else then with the victors... and who will kill them?"

"Give me a maul and I shall fill a graveyard."