The Dream
- "It all began with a change.
On a fair and relatively peaceful day, the goddess Melora decided after observing her faithful follower Sabi for many moons to bless her with greater strength and weapon versatility. The blessing required a long and excruciating change, from the predlocks to the razor edge toenails to the very core of Sabi. Melora, in her infinite wisdom and mercy, granted Sabi a blissful escape from the pain into a deep and healing sleep.
Unfortunately, Sabi's Subconscious was not peaceful. It was churning, raging within the confines of reality, lurking, waiting to strike back at its controller. When Sabi slipped into the deep sleep trance, it struck! Caught unawares, Sabi fell victim to its torture.
Her Subconscious lured her into a false sense of security not with the typical dream of sunshine, waffles, puppies, and bacon, but of serenely flying through the clouds on Ibas's back. Quiver bristling full of magical arrows and the finest honed bow in existence. Sabi unfurled shot after shot into the cute poofy clouds causing them to fall into love with each other. White cottony gusts swelling with dopamine and norepinephrine. Swirling around their lover mist and spawning millions of rainbows across the night sky.
Then her Subconcious struck. Ibas exploded into a mass of feathers. Plummeting to the earth astride her fowl friend, Sabi became victim to The Dream. She landed in an alien world, inhabited by exploding pineapples and right sock bushes. Despite facing horror of horrors, Sabi merely squared her shoulders and patted Ibas-now-a-chicken's shoulder. Sensing that Sabi was dealing with this world better than she ought, The Dream acted once more. Ibas grew larger and bigger as Sabi grew smaller and tinier. Looming over Sabi with fierce chicken-ness. Ibas gave into his chicken side. The hugemongus beak fissured the earth in front of Sabi as the pecking spree began.
'Finally!' the Subconscious giggled, for Sabi began to crack. Screaming hysterically as she sprinted away from the deranged Ibas-now-a-chicken. "NO IBAS! I'M NOT CORN!! IBAS!!! NOOO!!!"
Unfortunately, the rest of the dream was forgotten and unrecorded. No doubt it was too heinous, too deranged to be expressed in words or captured on this video1. Not that any of the dream was the deity's fault, strictly due to the Subconscious. That concludes our lecture for today. Homework is to list at least ten good reasons for why bad things happen. Class adjourned."
1. Courtesy of Deity Training Inc. Course 100930056831: What Not To Do To Your Disciples.
